Indulgent parenting is a parenting style that is undemanding and responsive. Parents who adopt this style are normally permissive and lenient, only because they have few expectations from the child. Indulgent parents are usually involved with their children, but they set very few rules and limits. Children brought up through this style are often seen as rude and spoiled. This is because their parents do not teach them how to control their emotions.
Authoritarian parenting is the next parenting style. It is also known as strict parenting, and it is both unresponsive and demanding. The central characteristic of this style is that parents expect their children to comply, and conform to every rule. This parenting style has little open communication between the parent and the child. Authoritarian parents normally require their children to follow the set rules without even a single explanation why the rules and limits are set. According to research, parents who adopt this parenting style are unresponsive to the child’s emotional needs. As a result, these children tend to display low social competence because their parents prevent them from making their own choices.
Parents also have to be clear about their own values. Children watch us closely. If you want your children to be able to stand up for their values, you have to do the same. If you believe that a summer spent reading, taking creek walks and playing is better than a specialized camp, then stick to your guns. Parents also have to make sure their own lives are fulfilling. There is no parent more vulnerable to the excesses of overparenting than an unhappy parent. One of the most important things we do for our children is to present them with a version of adult life that is appealing and worth striving for.
A loving parent is warm, willing to set limits and unwilling to breach a child’s psychological boundaries by invoking shame or guilt. Parents must acknowledge their own anxiety. Your job is to know your child well enough to make a good call about whether he can manage a particular situation. Will you stay up worrying? Probably, but the child’s job is to grow, yours is to control your anxiety so it doesn’t get in the way of his reasonable moves toward autonomy.
Parents differ in the degree to which they respond to children’s signals and control their behaviours. High quality caregiving, characterized by a sensitive, cognitively stimulating, and moderately controlling approach, is crucial for children’s development and safety. Indeed, many of the skills children acquire during the early years are fundamentally dependent on the quality of their interactions with their parents. For instance, parents play an important role in fostering children’s early learning (e.g., language and problem-solving abilities) and in shaping their social-emotional skills (e.g., emotion regulation, reactivity to stress, and self-esteem). Furthermore, parents have an influence on the development, maintenance, or cessation of children’s positive and/or negative behaviours. The quality of parenting children receive during the early years affects three key determinants of later success in school: their cognitive potential, their social skills, and their behavioural functioning. Considering the fact that parenting skills can be acquired and passed on from one generation to another, continuous efforts to improve the quality of caregiving are important.
Being a parent can be one of the most rewarding and fulfilling experiences of your life, but that doesn't mean it's easy. No matter what age your child/children is/are, your work is never done. To be a good parent, you need to know how to make your children feel valued and loved, while teaching them the difference between right and wrong. At the end of the day, the most important thing is to create a nurturing environment where your children feel like they can thrive and develop into confident, independent, and caring adults. If you want to know how to be a good parent, see Step 1 to be on your way.
Children don’t need to be the most popular in their class, but they do need good social skills. Being sociable helps us with resilience (the ability to withstand hard times). Children who are constantly rejected by peers are lonely and have lower self-esteem. When they are older, these children are more likely to drop out of school and use drugs and alcohol. Parents can help their children learn social skills so that they are not constantly rejected or begin to bully and reject others.
What authoritative parents do: These parents have lots of verbal give-and-take with their children, Klinzing says. They give lots of reasons why children should or shouldnt do things. They are good role models. They keep firm but reasonable control over their children. They set carefully defined limits, but they listen to their childrens needs and feelings. They are democratic parents. They are interested in why their children behave as they do, and they encourage their children to make age-appropriate decisions. They expect good behavior, and they praise and reward children for that behavior.
“Parenting style considers the balance between two aspects of parenting, namely, control, and warmth” (Ginsburg, Durbin, Garcias-Espana, Kalicka, and Winston, p....
Parents can act as coaches for their children to develop these social skills. Children learn a lot from how parents treat them and when they observe how parents interact with others. Parents, like other coaches, will need to be creative and specific in teaching social skills. Beyond saying “You need to be better at X,” good coaches teach concrete skills and then support the use of these skills across a variety of situations. The goal should be not just to teach children to “be nice” but also to help them to advocate for themselves as well as care for others.
How their children sometimes turn out: Because these children are forced to decide things for themselves at a very young age, they may make many bad decisions. Klinzing says these are the children you see throwing temper tantrums in the grocery store at age 7. They are often quite demanding, immature and rebellious. Many defy authority, lack interest in school and become underachievers. They often grow up believing their parents dont love them, the exact opposite of how the parents really feel.
Each child has his/her own temperament. Some children enjoy higher levels of social activity while other children prefer less. While this may be a preference children are born with, much of what experts call ‘social competence’ or the ability to get along with others is skill-based or learned. This means that it can be practiced and improved upon, especially if the child’s parent is a patient coach.
What uninvolved parents do: These parents are indifferent to their children, according to Klinzing. They are undemanding. They treat their children almost as they would treat furniture. In extreme cases, their treatment could be classified as neglect. Many of these parents are seriously depressed and have little energy left for their children.