The use of mobile phones in public places has become rampant over recent decades. Although some people believe that cell phone usage in public places should be prohibited, I do not agree that it should be for several reasons which will be discussed in this essay.
Convenience and safety — the two reasons people give for why they have (or “need”) cell phones — are legitimate reasons for using wireless technology; but they are not neutral. Convenience is the major justification for fast food, but its overzealous consumption has something to do with our national obesity “epidemic.” Safety spawned a bewildering range of anti-bacterial products and the overzealous prescription of antibiotics — which in turn led to disease-resistant bacteria.
Your first body paragraph is slightly confusing with the first sentences “Cell phone has contributed a lot in many ways. One of the most significant aspects is that it is very convenient owing to its portability. It has different size and shapes. So, it can be taken anywhere with ease.” This is all about the advantages of mobiles not about why they should not be banned. Put your main point in your topic sentences.
At the time, we were all caught up in the James Bond-like excitement of our mission. Would the cell phone work? (It did.) Would the wife’s e-mail get through to our companion’s BlackBerry? (No problem.) Only later, as we drove back to Beijing, did I experience a pang of doubt about our small communications triumph. There, at one of the Great Wonders of the World, a centuries-old example of human triumph over nature, we didn’t hesitate to do something as mundane as make a cell phone call. It is surely true that wireless communication is its own wondrous triumph over nature. But cell phone conversation somehow inspires less awe than standing atop the Great Wall, perhaps because atop the Great Wall we are still rooted in the natural world that we have conquered. Or perhaps it is simply because cell phones have become everyday wonders — as unremarkable to us as the Great Wall is to those who see it everyday.
ecently, on a trip to China, I found myself standing on the Great Wall. One of the members of our small group had hiked ahead, and since the rest of us had decided it was time to get back down the mountain, we realized we would need to find him. Despite being in a remote location at high altitude, and having completely lost sight of him in the hazy late morning air, this proved to be the easiest of logistical tasks. One man pulled out his cell phone, called his wife back in the United States, and had her send an e-mail to the man who had walked ahead. Knowing that our lost companion religiously checked his BlackBerry wireless, we reasoned that he would surely notice an incoming message. Soon enough he reappeared, our wireless plea for his return having successfully traveled from China to Washington and back again to the Wall in mere minutes.
Enthusiasts for banning the use of cell phones in public places argue that excess use of mobiles results in negative impacts on people and even catastrophic ones . . People usually get distracted and become less attentive to hazards surrounding them when calling someone or answering someone’s call because most of their focus and concentration is paid to the call . A stark example supporting that plea is the toll death and injuries afflicting the society everyday as a result of the careless use of mobiles in streets , while crossing high ways and even while driving over highways . In spite of the strength of this argument ,these negative impacts can be eliminated if sophisticated illuminating campaigns are to be launched to enhance people’s awareness concerning the potential risks of using cell phones in public places .
excellent essay mate, i like the way you develop and present your ideas wish i could write like that. i don’t know why i end up writing all my essays in same style. may be i need to adapt different techniques, as i often struggle to develop my ideas and that’s the difference between band 7 and 8. anyhow, if you have time read my above essay any suggestion from you would be truly appreciated.
This is a good essay. You have given a very clear answer in your introduction and you have supported and explained that answer in the body. Each paragraph has a clear central topic. It’s very good and is above band score 7. Point for improvement:
These days, it is common to find people using cell phones in various public places such as, markets, banks and reading rooms. In my opinion, I strongly believe public use of phones should be banned owing to several reasons which shall be discussed in this essay.
Firstly, it constitutes a form of public disturbance. The use of mobile phones generates noise in public places since you have various people talking at various voice pitches. This noise most often is unbearable to people who are present in these places. They are distracted by this noise which often limits people’s activities whenever they need to engage in certain activities for instance, reading in a library. Noise is highly intrusive and is often a nuisance to most people.
Furthermore, it is a potential health hazard. The generation of noise and radiation from the use of cell phones is seen as being harmful to health. Noise is known to be a form of pollution which is harmful to the human ear. There is a certain level of noise the human ear can adapt to. This level is exceeded by the use of mobile phones in public places as confirmed by medical experts. In addition, the generation of radiation by the use of cell phones also causes various cancers according to medical experts. This radiation is high when exposure to mobile phone radiations is more as seen in unrestricted use of mobile phones in public places.
In conclusion, the use of cell phones should be highly restricted in public places so as to prevent its potential health hazard to people who are not aware of the harm. Failure to do this may cause a burden on the populace and the government when diseases emerge because of this.
So, this is all about the language you use and the way you present it. To present a balanced view, you can’t write I think a complete ban is wrong and then explain in the body reasons why a complete ban is good. However, you can say in the introduction that you don’t believe in a complete ban and then in the body you write “there are some reasons to having some restrictions rather than a complete ban” – that makes sense.
You have written that “I believe levying a complete ban would not be an appropriate answer” but in your first body paragraph you write the opposite “there are two compelling grounds to impose an entire ban “. This means you are not presenting a clear position throughout your essay. You give one view in the introduction but a different view in the body.
thanks for you response liz, i was trying to write a balance essay, partially supporting both views, as i mentioned in introduction that ” While i accept that there are some drawbacks and i also believe that a complete ban would not be the right option